The Final Score

Lesson: Heavenly Father knows the final score.

Many years ago this story was shared with me and it's message is more powerful now than when I first heard it:

A group of friends shared a love of football, particularly their favorite team. They gathered together at someone's home each week to eat, socialize, and to watch their team play. As luck would have it, one of the men had a business trip and would have to be flying home during the championship game. All of the friends graciously agreed to record the game, not watch a minute of it, and meet at his house later that evening so they could all experience it together.

The man landed, exited the plane, and rushed into the terminal so he could hurry home to his wife and anxious friends. As he was racing through the terminal, he inadvertently glanced up at one of the many television screens and happened to see the final score of the game. He immediately felt panicked because all of his friends had sworn to not watch the game until they could all see it together. Now he knew the final score.

As he entered the house, his wife knew there was something different about him. He wasn't acting like himself. They turned on the game, put out the food, and began watching the game. His wife couldn't help but watch him. While everyone was cheering or yelling at the game, her husband was different, somewhat reserved. She pulled him into the kitchen and asked, "What is wrong? You're not acting like yourself." He assured her he was fine and they went back into the other room to watch the game. As the game wore on, she knew something was up. She again pulled him into the kitchen and accused, "Are you having an affair? What is wrong with you?" He said she was being ridiculous, that, of course, he was not having an affair. "Well, what is it then?" And then, he couldn't keep it in any longer, he blurted "I saw the final score. In the airport. It was just on the screen as I walked by. There was nothing I could do." His wife thought for a minute and then taught him. "So, you know your team won? You know the outcome of the game? Well, how would you be different towards our children if you knew their outcome?"

We're in the middle of the game with our son. Heavenly Father knows the final score and He has given me impressions and feelings that the outcome will be favorable. I don't know what that score will be, but I know that God knows and it will be well. In the meantime, while waiting for the momentum in his game to switch, I try to enjoy where we are now with all the ups and downs of it, and focus on what may yet be.

Mourning

Lesson: There are many periods of grieving for a parent of a struggling child.

Yesterday I read a Facebook status from a dear friend. It was congratulating her son on being accepted into a prestigious dental school. Her son attended preschool with my son. It caused me to reflect on the many times over the last ten years I have mourned for what could have been.  One poignant memory came during a break in a seminar for the Anasazi parents. I was talking to another parent and I said something like, "Well, he has to graduate from high school!" She looked at me thoughtfully and said, "Not necessarily." That thought had never crossed my mind. That he wouldn't or couldn't graduate from high school. That seemed like something everyone does, kind of like breathing. Well, he didn't graduate from high school. I remember when all of his friends participated in senior fun activities, all the parents and extended family in town for the graduation ceremony, and grad night. Not to mention, the buzz for months about where each of his friends was choosing to go to college. That was a period of mourning.

The holidays are here once again and I do not know where my son is. As we trim the tree and drink hot chocolate, there is a little empty spot in my heart. Even though it is a happy time, and we have many happy times at our house, a bit of me mourns, still. It's definitely a process of grieving. We would love to have him with us as we gather. However, I would settle for knowing he is well, and gathered with others he may love.