Yesterday I read a Facebook status from a dear friend. It was congratulating her son on being accepted into a prestigious dental school. Her son attended preschool with my son. It caused me to reflect on the many times over the last ten years I have mourned for what could have been. One poignant memory came during a break in a seminar for the Anasazi parents. I was talking to another parent and I said something like, "Well, he has to graduate from high school!" She looked at me thoughtfully and said, "Not necessarily." That thought had never crossed my mind. That he wouldn't or couldn't graduate from high school. That seemed like something everyone does, kind of like breathing. Well, he didn't graduate from high school. I remember when all of his friends participated in senior fun activities, all the parents and extended family in town for the graduation ceremony, and grad night. Not to mention, the buzz for months about where each of his friends was choosing to go to college. That was a period of mourning.
The holidays are here once again and I do not know where my son is. As we trim the tree and drink hot chocolate, there is a little empty spot in my heart. Even though it is a happy time, and we have many happy times at our house, a bit of me mourns, still. It's definitely a process of grieving. We would love to have him with us as we gather. However, I would settle for knowing he is well, and gathered with others he may love.
Thinking about you and your family.
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