Mother's Day

A number of years ago I had to step out into the foyer with a fussy baby while attending church on Mother's Day. I sat down on the couch next to a good friend of mine, and she was crying. She expressed to me that Mother's Day was really hard for her because nothing about her mothering was working out. She had teenagers who were making choices that caused her pain, she and her husband were struggling in their marriage, perhaps as a result of it. I remember feeling her sadness so deeply.

A few years later, I spent my own time crying through Mother's Days because of my son's choices. I, too, felt like things weren't working out quite like I had hoped and planned for. Through years of struggle, he continues to make choices that could cause me pain, but I have learned that his choices aren't a personal attack on me. I remind myself often that, in life,

"Pain is a given, suffering is optional."

This year I had a wonderful Mother's Day. My husband and kids spoiled me. My daughter called. And my son called. It was in the evening here in California, but he was calling from New York City, so it was very late for him. He said he had just been hanging around, trying to get into a concert, but he and his friends didn't have enough money. His speech was a little slurred, as I have heard it before, and I asked him if he was drunk. He replied that he had been drinking, but he was not drunk. I told him I doubted he would remember anything of our conversation, and he vehemently disagreed. He said he would remember "every bit of it". That's an interesting thing about being drunk, people are often emphatic that the alcohol has no effect.

Regardless of his choices that I would very much rather he not be making, I choose to be grateful for his choice to call me and wish me a happy Mother's Day. That was the best he could offer, and I am grateful for the offering.

Mother's Days past have been quite painful, but this one wasn't. My husband and children bring me so much joy, I can't even express it. Is it hard work and do I still worry about each one of them because of their individual struggles? Absolutely! But, the greatest gift is the effort each of them puts forth each day to live a good life, to build a future for themselves, and to be a contributor to the strength our family.

I even got breakfast in bed-