Quitting is Not an Option

Lesson: As difficult as it is to parent a rebellious teen or young adult, our parental stewardship remains.

Many years ago, I approached a friend to console her after the untimely passing of her son. I wanted to offer something...some words of condolence or encouragement. Cancer is no respecter of persons. So tragic! He was her only son and I felt deep sorrow for her loss. I approached her and expressed my sorrow, and her reply will stay with me forever. She said, "There are worse things than death, and you're living it." My life at that time was a living nightmare for my own son. She was sweet to think of me instead of her own needs.

I have often wanted to quit. The scriptures talk about how people used to "rend their clothes" as a sign of simply being done with something or someone.

Judges 11:35

35 And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: 

I have felt as this father, and wondered if I were justified in my actions. As I searched the scriptures, prayed, and sought direction in the Lord's house, the answer has come slowly and clearly. I am never done. This phrase is repeated throughout scripture:

Isaiah 9:17

For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still. 

In the Book of Mormon, there was a prophet named Jacob who quotes the prophet Zenos who gave us an allegory. It is called The Allegory of the Olive Tree. It is difficult for me to understand, but it describes the scattering and gathering of the house of Israel. As I read this (very long) Chapter 5, recently, I was struck with another common phrase.

"watch the tree, and nourish it,"

"this long time have I nourished it,"

"I have nourished it this long time,"

"I have nourished this tree like unto the others."

"Let us prune it, and dig about it, and nourish it a little longer, that perhaps is may bring forth good fruit unto thee,"

"And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard said unto his servant: The tree profiteth me nothing, and the roots thereof profit me nothing so long as it shall bring forth evil fruit. Nevertheless, I know that the roots are good,"

"The Lord of the vineyard wept, and said unto the servant: 'What could I have done more for my vineyard?"

"But, behold, the servant said unto the Lord of the vineyard: Spare it a little longer."

"And the Lord said: Yea, I will spare it a little longer, for it grieveth me that I should lose the trees of my vineyard."

"I may yet have glory in the fruit of my vineyard."

"And blessed art thou; for because ye have been diligent in laboring with me in my vineyard, and have kept my commandments, ...behold ye shall have joy with me."

The Lord never gives up on us, ever. And we cannot ever give up on our wayward child. It would be so much easier. It would protect us from pain. But it is not His way, nor can it be our way.